The Poem: There is a very common misconception That the practice of meditation is designed to stop the thinking mind. To clear the mind of thoughts.

Not so

As we recognize the thinking process As we experience the transient nature of thoughts Our relationship to our thinking changes By returning to the silence in between the thoughts

The Gap We begin to notice how each thought gives rise to desire, aversion, or indifference. This creates the experience of “other” In the silence of meditation we see how we give birth to “other” with each thought. Creating otherness when there is only just this. Not two. Not one. Just______ Rest there.

The Commentary I often find that when people begin to meditate they have this odd misconception that as soon as the meditation bell is sounded, their mind will somehow magically clear and they will then be able to sit in pristine awareness for the entire session. That the bell is somehow endowed with an invisible mind-cleansing elixir which can wash away discursive thought and distraction. This never happens. In fact, the reality of the situation is usually quite different. The meditation bell rings and we may feel a breath or two and as soon as our internal dialogue gets quiet the mind is off to the races! Thought after distracting thought comes barreling though our awareness like a bull in a china shop, smashing any semblance of peace and tranquillity in a raging fury of past regrets and future stresses. Welcome to meditation!

When someone comes to a meditation session with this type of expectation, it is similar to when I go to the gym, and without lifting any weights, I wonder why my arms aren’t big and swollen with muscle. In both examples, the expected results are being practiced, rather than the methods needed to achieve those results. This is quite important. When we practice the results, rather than the methods needed to achieve the results, we are headed straight into frustration-land. The method in meditation is to sit and rest in the experience of breathing. In this resting state thoughts will arise. Each time thoughts distract us from the breath we label that occurrence with the word “thinking”. This labeling process shines the light of awareness on the unaware state of distraction. (When we are distracted we are no longer aware of the present moment experience, that is why I give it the title of unawareness.) The distraction will dissolve in the light of awareness effortlessly. We do not need to exert any effort in allowing the thought to dissolve. Once the distraction is dissolved we can easily return back to the breath and resume meditating. We may then rest with the breath for maybe one second, maybe two seconds, maybe ten. It doesn’t matter how long that resting space lasts, but pretty soon another thought will appear. If you find you can maintain an open awareness in breathing, the thought will arise and pass on its own. If you find you follow the thought (most people do, as it is habitually ingrained into the human nervous system to do so) then as soon as you recognize you are distracted once again just label this state “thinking” again. Thus, shining the light of awareness on the distracted, unaware state, allowing the thought to dissolve and returning back to the present moment experience. Each time we go through this process of resting - distracted unawareness - remember - return- we lift the awareness and attention weights. We are doing reps with the awareness and attention dumbbells. Strengthening the muscles of awareness and attention with each repetition. Each time we label the distractions “thinking” and return back to the present moment (the breath, in this example) we are getting stronger in awareness and attention. As a result of this method our awareness and attention gradually gets stronger and stronger. With the cultivated strength in awareness and attention it becomes easier to rest in the gap in between each thought. The strength cultivated by the repetition of distraction and return (like lifting weights) gives us the heightened sense of awareness and attention necessary to find the gap. Once we find the gap we begin to use our new, stronger awareness and attention muscles to rest in the gap. And because resting in the gap feels good, we begin to use our strengthened awareness and attention to gradually widen that gap. We can rest there for longer and longer periods of distraction free silence. But keep in mind that there will always be thoughts. (no pun intended) In fact, the thoughts are what allows us to get stronger in our awareness and attention. If the meditation bell could really magically whisk our thoughts away with one chime, (practicing the results, rather than practicing the method to achieve the results) there would be no chance of cultivating our awareness and attention muscle.

I mention this because many people tell me “oh chris, I can’t meditate! My mind is too active!” I say: “That is wonderful!” Why? Because each thought is an opportunity to get stronger in awareness and attention. What a blessing to have an overactive mind, ripe with such opportunity! Making the claim that one cannot meditate due to an overactive mind is like me saying I cannot exercise because there are too many weights in the gym! We can really see the silliness of this excuse when we look at it from this perspective. So we can be grateful for each distraction, recognizing each one as an opportunity to grow stronger in awareness and attention. The silence is always in the mind. There is always a silent component of the thinking mind, but we fail to notice that silence because we are so hypnotized by the content of our thoughts. Much in the same way most people do not hear the silence within the aural field, even though there is always a backdrop of silence behind the canopy of sounds. People fail to appreciate the empty qualities in experience because we are so drawn in by the material world. Most people fail to recognize that it is the emptiness quality of experience which allows anything to exist at all! How strange that we so easily miss it.

This is an excerpt from Christopher Luard’s latest book, A Voice From the Ever-Change. A Voice From the Ever-Change can work as an accessory to a healthy meditation practice, a work of philosophy, and an entertaining read. But probably more importantly, it is a work of art. Written by long time meditation teacher and student, Christopher Luard offers up a series of stunning poems designed to illicit the experiences of deep resting, equanimity, meditative contemplation, and gratitude. A Voice From the Ever-Change is a fresh, new, and evocative text of the wisdom traditions.

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